Sage Advice To Former Ballplayers On Retrieving And Returning Foul Balls

One day this past week, I was walking my dogs at a local park here in Virginia Beach. This park, Bayville Farms, has a ton of recreational options for individuals, families, dogs, teams, and exercise enthusiasts. On the back side of Bayville Farms are two baseball/softball fields which face a pond area, where folks like me walk their dogs, jog, fish, and bird watch, just to name a few activities. In the past and on this particular day, I have noticed softballs in the pond, prompting me to utter (to myself or to Rachel) each and every time, “wow, that is quite a poke from home plate.” To be transparent here, it is probably a good 300 feet plus from home plate at either field, so in fact these home run softballs in the pond are what most would consider “a poke.”

As my dogs, Rookie and Nora, and I approached the corner of the field closest to the parking lot area/dog park area, I noticed a softball practice going on. There was an outfielder, a pitcher, and a batter on the field engaging in softball type activities. I stopped to say “hi” to the outfielder and joked “are you all the folks hitting the softballs into the pond?” to which she replied, “not even close, we are lucky to hit it out of the infield.” We both had a laugh and my dogs and I continued towards the dog park area. Until I saw an opportunity…

An opportunity to be a good neighbor, a good passerby, and retrieve and throw back a softball which had landed in foul territory outside the field of practice. There it was, just sitting there, calling me to come over and throw it back into the field of play. I assessed the situation quickly. Since the field was fenced in, it might be minutes or maybe hours before this softball got another chance to be used, to be thrown, to be hit, to fly, to roll. It was then when I made the split second decision to walk my dogs over to the foul softball, discouraging them from biting into it. And with heightened anticipation, I combined my two dog leashes into one hand, then used the free hand to reach down and pick up the foul softball. “Hey, hey, here you go,” I uttered like a giddy teenager. And with two dog leashes in one hand, I proceeded to wind my arm up and behind my back as far as I could stretch, then unleashed a blazing fastball over the fence towards the softball practice. A hearty “Thanks” came from the outfielder. I waved with my pitching hand and then spotted another softball laying helplessly in foul territory a little further away.

The phrase “quit while you are ahead” would be appropriate here. A few reasons. One, the first softball was just over the fence, so the effort to throw it in and still save face was rather low. Second, I haven’t really been throwing anything other than frisbees for some time, so my arm isn’t really in throwing multiple items shape. Third, I would soon find out why I should have quit after the first foul ball recovery. Let’s review the events of the second softball recovery effort.

The second foul softball was considerably further from the fence. This softball was likely to sit for the entire practice and be retrieved by the practice participants at the end of practice, if at all. I would have done well to have either walked the softball back to the first throwing spot, or perhaps just left it there. But, my teenage self said ‘forget age, age is just a number.’ There was a foul ball that needed to go back into the field of play and it was my duty to get it to where it belonged. So, I approached the foul softball like the first, discouraged the dogs from eating it, combined leashes into my left hand, reached down, and began the mental calculations of wind, arm flexion, shoulder rotational angle, and muscular propulsion needed to clear the fence from that distance. And unleashed another blazing fastball that easily cleared the fence and landed about 20 feet from the outfielder. I got another “thanks dude” before turning my attention to finishing my walk with the dogs.

It was roughly 10 to 12 seconds after transferring one leash into my right hand that I began to feel a funny sensation. It wasn’t pain, it wasn’t regret, it was more like shock. I was shocked at the amount of muscles and tendons and connective tissue that had woke up and said “what in the heck did you just do?” My right shoulder muscles throbbed, my elbow felt like I slammed it into a tree, my fingers tingled, and the euphoria of helping two softballs get back in the game was all but gone. I began to do some windmill type motions with my right arm, some triceps stretches across my chest, and shook out my arm like a swimmer getting ready for the 50 meter freestyle. All while guiding and hanging on to two dogs (Weimaraners) who average 90 lbs. and operate at roughly 5% body fat and run on all cylinders all day long. After about 10 minutes of stretching and positive thinking, I was pretty sure I hadn’t pulled anything serious enough for the ER. My dogs and I finished our walk and I drove off thinking about the foul softball throws and that I had actually cleared the fence not once, but twice.

So, after a few days of thinking about those foul softball throws, I have come up with some sage advice for retrieving and returning foul balls back into the field of play, especially for the deconditioned, fairly inactive, and former baseball/softball player intent on throwing an object no matter what it is or how much it will hurt:

1. Accept that is okay to hand the foul ball or retrieved home run ball responsibility to a youth or someone who looks like they can run a mile without needing medical assistance.
2. If you are unable to pass off this task, calculate the amount of walking you would need to physically hand it to someone on the team or in the field of play like an umpire, manager, or player.
3. If walking seems excessive, consider keeping the ball as a souvenir.
4. If your conscience tells you ‘no, you need to do the right thing and return the ball by throwing it back in,’ get your calculations started. Calculate wind speed, distance to fence, height of fence, toss the ball up and down to gauge weight of the ball, and begin to visualize yourself making a killer throw and thus, doing the right thing.
5. Probably not a bad idea to get as close to the fence as you are physically allowed to at this point. Give yourself one last chance to pass off the task by scanning the area for anyone with a pulse who can take this task off your hands.
6. Get into an athletic throwing stance – place the opposite foot of your throwing hand one step in front of the other foot. For example, I throw right handed so I would place my left foot about a step in front of my right foot. With the ball in your throwing hand, begin making large windmill movements with your arm. Bend your knees, think of a Bee Gees song, get into the rhythm of it. Bend, windmill, bend, windmill, Stayin’ Alive, bend, windmill. Your muscles are getting warmed up, the juices are flowing, the good vibes are present, so guess what.. you are now ready to throw this ball back in.
7. Keep up with the bend and windmill motion, staying alive, and when the ball reaches the northernmost point of your windmill motion, simply release your grip on it, flick your wrist, and let it fly. Watch as the ball lobs over that fence, into the field of play, where a younger athlete picks it up effortlessly and throws a laser strike into his/her dugout. Do not compare your throw to theirs, you did good!

The pain and throbbing and numbness and tingling only lasted a few short minutes after that second throw, but the event has left a mark on my future foul ball retrievals for a lifetime. I know the next time I go to retrieve a ball, I will be more mentally prepared to do the right thing. Which in my case, will be to walk the ball over to the fence and “dunk” it over to the other side. I hope my sage advice will help you the next time you retrieve a foul ball and want to relieve your glory years of baseball decades ago. Remember, Bee Gees, windmill, bend, Stayin’ Alive, bend, windmill, release, and most of all smile!